Special orders............dont fall aseep

What a strange day today was. When I left for work in the morning it was freezing and I had to scrape the ice from my car. Yet by the time I got home it was such a beautiful, hot day. Sadly, I had to carry my winter coat round with me all day. Apart from the differences in the weather nothing worth reporting happened today. I did have a special stop order at Wembley Central because of the football, which meant I had to disable the train doors on the back half of the train but fortunately even this passed off without incident. It is funny though that even though you have followed the correct procedure for disabling the rear train doors your heart is in your mouth just in case it doesn't work. I am not sure why we stopped at Wembley because no one got off and no one got on ! But as that was the most that happened during a 9hr 57min shift on hot sunny day I think I did well to stay awake. It is interesting though how much busier Sundays have become. Of course yesterday there was, as mentioned, football at Wembley and a big concert was taking place in Birmingham.

Well. I'm working afternoons this week so we'll see what the next few days bring, hopefully something worth reporting.

McNulty

Recently there was a report from the Government about how the railway was going to save over  £3Bn. One of the recommendations was to take Guards from trains and go Driver Only Operated.

Last night I got to a rather isolated station and while opening the doors of the train I noticed a young girl carrying a cello or similar large musical instrument. Standing with her were two young men. As i wat ched them boarding the train I just thouhgt something didn't look right. I closed the doors and went to investigate. Before I could get to them the two young men came down the train towards me. I asked them for tickets and not surprisingly they didn't have any. When I asked them to buy two tickets they tried all they could to avoid buying them. Finally however, to their credit they bought 2 tickets to the next station and after giving me some undeserved childish abuse they left the train.

I then remembered the girl who got on the train with them. I went to find her and asked if she knew them and tearfully she explained she did not. She went on to tell me that they had been pestering her and although they had done nothing she had felt quite unsafe and scared because, and I would agree with her, they were very intimidating. She went on to tell me how pleased she was to see me and thanked me for looking out for her.

Now there is nothing to say these lads would have done something terrible if I had not been on the train but at the very least the young girl would have had a very uncomfortable, nervy journey.

I doubt that the Government will read this blog but the events of yesterday are just one reason why Guards must stay on trains.

Anyone for eye-spy Part 2

OK then, let’s recap! It’s late at night, our train is in a train jam and all the passengers have settled down for a potentially long and uncomfortable night.

Now taking my customer service duties seriously I continued to walk up and down the train keeping an eye on my passengers when I came across a guy fast asleep across two aisle seats. Now not wanting to wake him I decided I could jump over him. Sizing up the jump I leapt from the floor like a Gazelle chased by pride of lions when disaster struck. My jump resembled more like a Hippo than a Gazelle because I caught my foot on the floor and proceeded to rip the sole of my shoe from the upper. I walked back to my cab resembling a frogman in undersize flippers slapping the floor with every other step. When I viewed the damage I thought the best thing to do was rip the whole sole off. This was not a good idea. I tugged at the sole which duly relaxed its grip on the top of the shoe and came off. I smiled a smile of contentment but my smile was soon replaced by a look of horror. I had forgotten that if I pulled off the sole there would be nothing between my sock and the floor. Dr Cock Up was well and truly at work, however he had saved his best work for the next sorry chapter. As I sat dejectedly looking at my slightly soiled sock a helpful passenger came up with an idea.

‘I’ve got some tape, why don’t you tape it up’ he said. I quickly mulled over the suggestion and in the absence of any other ideas I decided ‘Let’s do it’. Now, what he failed to tell me was it was bright yellow tape, yes that’s right, bright yellow. Not wanting to offend and without any other viable solution I began to tape the sole to the upper part of the shoe. Have you any idea how much tape you need to stick a shoe together? After I had finished I looked like my foot was stuck in a genetically modified lemon, but at least I wasn’t flapping. By now though, with no hint of a forward movement, the passengers were beginning to wake up and wanted answers and they wanted them fast.

To be continued

Well, I always wanted to see Watford............

As I have written about before, there seems to be a hard core of late night passengers who believe that paying for a ticket after it gets dark is against everything they believe in. If I had a £1 for every passenger who has said 'but it's free after 10 o'clock' I would be a rich man. What amazes me is that most of these people appear to believe it to be true. I have no idea where this fallacy comes from, but this week it reared it's ugly head again but with a unique twist that I have never come across before.

A young lady passenger, when asked for her ticket, gave me a 'booked train only' ticket that had been bought with a young persons railcard. Now if you are unfamiliar with any of these terms it means the ticket was cheap, very cheap. However, the proviso with these tickets is you must have the railcard and the ticket reservation with you. Of course you are probably ahead of me now and have guessed that my passenger had neither. This meant her ticket was invalid, however, her defence was 'anyway it's free after 10pm'. Kerching, chalk up another £1 please. I pointed out it wasn't free and advised her she needed to purchase a ticket. She told me she had no money with her. Sadly for her she had her purse open and clearly visible, a credit card together with several £20 and £10 notes. I told her I did not want to appear rude but I had seen the money. She looked at me as if I had gone mad and, are you ready for it? she told me...........
'That money isn't for buying a ticket it's for me to get around next week!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!'
'Well' I said 'I hope it will get you round Watford'
'Why is that?' she said
'Why? because thats where you are getting off '
She collected all her bags together while doubting my parentage and left the train. I guess her money did get her round Watford after all.