OK then, let’s recap! It’s late at night, our train is in a train jam and all the passengers have settled down for a potentially long and uncomfortable night.
Now taking my customer service duties seriously I continued to walk up and down the train keeping an eye on my passengers when I came across a guy fast asleep across two aisle seats. Now not wanting to wake him I decided I could jump over him. Sizing up the jump I leapt from the floor like a Gazelle chased by pride of lions when disaster struck. My jump resembled more like a Hippo than a Gazelle because I caught my foot on the floor and proceeded to rip the sole of my shoe from the upper. I walked back to my cab resembling a frogman in undersize flippers slapping the floor with every other step. When I viewed the damage I thought the best thing to do was rip the whole sole off. This was not a good idea. I tugged at the sole which duly relaxed its grip on the top of the shoe and came off. I smiled a smile of contentment but my smile was soon replaced by a look of horror. I had forgotten that if I pulled off the sole there would be nothing between my sock and the floor. Dr Cock Up was well and truly at work, however he had saved his best work for the next sorry chapter. As I sat dejectedly looking at my slightly soiled sock a helpful passenger came up with an idea.
‘I’ve got some tape, why don’t you tape it up’ he said. I quickly mulled over the suggestion and in the absence of any other ideas I decided ‘Let’s do it’. Now, what he failed to tell me was it was bright yellow tape, yes that’s right, bright yellow. Not wanting to offend and without any other viable solution I began to tape the sole to the upper part of the shoe. Have you any idea how much tape you need to stick a shoe together? After I had finished I looked like my foot was stuck in a genetically modified lemon, but at least I wasn’t flapping. By now though, with no hint of a forward movement, the passengers were beginning to wake up and wanted answers and they wanted them fast.
To be continued
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