I have always thought what a thoroughly humourless bunch our daily commuters are. They never raise a smile, rain or shine. They stand there in organised ranks until the train arrives, when they spring into life and we observe the commuters Grand National as the throng of humanity charge to reach the doors, and then proceed to aim for their daily seat. I am sure the next few seconds dictate how their day is going to go, for if someone is sitting in their normal seat..........well you know the rest. Anyway this week was worse than normal. Firstly, of course, after all the festivities of the Christmas and New Year period it was return to work morning. Never a good time, for it is while standing on the platform waiting to go to work that you start to ponder the year stretching ahead of you like a Bank Holiday traffic jam and wondering will you ever get to the end of it. You can think about all the good intentions from last year that never came to fruition, you never gave to that charity you saw on TV, you didn't go to the gym and you certainly didn't give up your job and move to the country to raise rare breeds of chickens. Hence the reason you're standing on the platform waiting for the train to take you to the metropolis at stupid o'clock still dreaming of Lincolnshire Buffs and Scots Dumpys.
This week of course, of all weeks, we have had some atrocious weather. So not only are our passengers returning to work for a 12 month stretch but they are doing so in the midst of the worst storms since, well, since the last time the press told us we were enduring the worst storms since records began. Of course the bad weather has given rise a whole collection of new coats with matching hats and gloves, you knew it was going to be worthwhile standing in the queues at 5.00am vouchers in hand waiting for the post Christmas sales to start.
So, you're going back to work at the start of a new year, its rainy and cold, there is someone sitting in your usual seat, what could possibly make the start of your day, nay year, even worse. How about a rise in the cost of your ticket. Okay, I know how you feel and you're right it is annoying but there is no point in taking it out on the train crew. Believe me, my colleagues on the train and I didn't set the fare increases and we don't have the ear of the people who did so why take your frustration out on us. If you are though, at least have the courage to tell us to face to face, dont wait until we have gone past and then make some remark that is designed for us to hear, what do you think we are going to say other than agree with you. As I walked through the train I came across a group of 4 smartly dressed city types, 'tickets and passes please' all four duly obliged without a cross word from their lips yet as I came back and passed by them, the young lady(and I use the term lady quite incorrectly) waited for me to be within earshot and announced to those around her that 'it doesn't matter what the ticket costs it will still be a sh1t service'. Now we both knew she wanted a reaction but I am afraid to say as she waived the red flag behind me I rather pathetically waived a white one back. You see in a carriage full of angry, wet, cold workshy commuters discretion was the better part of valour and I made a tactical retreat to the safety of the cab to lick my wounds.
So when we arrive at our final destination our gallant commuters, still smileless, file out of the doors of the train still dreaming of the small holding and those chickens.Maybe this year, just maybe.
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